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6-Guidelines For Cleaning up Any Relationship-2
4/21/2010

6-Guidelines For Cleaning up Any Relationship-Part 2

Dear children, let's not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. 1John 3:18 (NLT)

We are looking at a 3-part devotional titled, 6-guidelines for cleaning up any relationship, which is taken from the Scriptures in Ephesians 4:27-32.  I believe these Scriptures are a great example as they contain 6-verses that outline 6-guidelines that will ensure that we can be personally clean in any potential dispute.  I believe these verses are also great instructions to help us in many other situations, but we are focusing on using them to help us to solve one of life's bigger ongoing problems - that of relationships.  

In Part I, we looked at the first 2-guidelines, which were,

1.    Don't give place to the devil (Eph. 4:27).
2.    Repent of ungodly ways (Eph. 4:28).

Let's take a look at our third guideline given to us to ensure that we stay clean when confronted with the enemy's temptation to be a part of a broken relationship.

3.    Stop all corrupt speaking and start to say things that are edifying and that impart grace (unmerited favor) (Eph 4:29).

This one seems to be easy to say, but harder to do, especially when someone is saying something hurtful or derogatory to us.  We can tend to have a certain button pushed that brings forth this fleshly propensity to push their button back.  God's Word says, "Don't do it!" 

Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. Romans 12:17 (NKJV)

Instead, we are instructed to hold our tongue and think on things that are noble, just, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and worthy of praise (See Phil. 4:8), and to say something that will be filled with grace (Col 4:6).

Ask yourself this question, "Would I rather be spending my time with someone who is divisive, angry, and complaining continuously, one who is cynical and vulgar, or with a person who is pleasant, positive and happy - who always has encouraging things to say?"  Well, if you would rather be hanging around the positive person who is uplifting, then chances are, so do others.  We cannot control others actions, but we can control our own and we can determine whether we want to be happy, and at peace, or not.

Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one. Colossians 4:6 (NKJV)

We need to remember, our tongues will only speak what our heart truly feels.  When you find your speech less than edifying, ask the Lord to transform your heart.

Let's take a look at our fourth guideline given to us to ensure that we stay clean when confronted with the enemy's temptation to be a part of a broken relationship.

4.    Don't grieve the Holy Spirit (Eph. 4:30).

There is probably no sadder picture than that of grieving the Holy Spirit.  To "Grieve" the Holy Spirit is to cause Him to be sorrowful and sad.

  • It's when we allow our "Old" fleshly nature to control our actions instead of our "New" Christ-like nature.  
  • It's when we choose to speak divisive or angry words rather than those that are edifying and that promote unity.  
  • It's when we choose to say, "No" to the things of God, and "Yes" to the things of the world.  
  • It's when we choose to walk and live according to "Our" will, lead by our feelings and desires, instead of being led by "His" will, and being led by His Word and the Holy Spirit.

When we grieve the Holy Spirit, we are quenching the Holy Spirit, and we are told not to do this.

Do not quench the Spirit. 1Thessalonians 5:19 (NKJV)

To quench the Spirit means that we are extinguishing that very power within our lives that enables us to use the gifts and abilities that we have been given.  Here are just a few of those gifts and abilities that the Holy Spirit is responsible for.

  • The Holy Spirit is our helper who will teach us things and will enable us to understand and remember God's Word (John 14:26).  The Holy Spirit is responsible for transforming us to be more like Jesus (2Cor 3:18).
  • The Holy Spirit enables us, as Christians, to know God's will for our lives (Rom 12:2; Jn.14:26).  
  • The Holy Spirit gives us the strength we need to continue to walk in an abiding relationship with the Lord (Gal. 5:16; Eph. 5:8-10).  

Hey Christian, I want to encourage you to think about your actions.  Are they the type of actions that are unifying and edifying?  Or are they divisive and ones that tear down?  Seek to do those things that glorify God.  It doesn't matter how it is received from others - what matters is that we are obedient. Whether others receive us or not should never be a reason to stop being the Christian that we have been called to be.

STUDY QUESTION: What can we learn about our responsibility for our own actions according to the Scriptures contained within this devotion?

PERSONAL INVENTORY: Are the things that you are speaking edifying everyone who hears them?  Can you think of ways in which you may be grieving the Holy Spirit?

APPLICATION: Ask God to reveal any way in which you may be grieving the Holy Spirit.  Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, and get rid of anything that is not in agreement with His Word.  Slow down before speaking and think about what you plan to say.

Father, Thank You for Your mercies that are new each and every day.  Help me to impart grace on those who may offend or hurt me.  Help me be a mature Christian - one who sews harmony and peace in every relationship.  Give me the wisdom and discernment to govern my speech.  In Jesus precious name, amen&

Be blessed, Pastor Scott





Copyright ©2017 by Pastor Scott Wright.
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Bible text from the New King James Version is not to be reproduced in copies or otherwise by any means except as permitted in writing by Thomas Nelson, Inc., Attn: Bible Rights and Permissions, P.O. Box 141000, Nashville, TN 37214-1000